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| a.connor a.doyle a.lindsey a.oz a.spike a.wesley a.xander a.other three.somes het.fic character.study |
| Angel/Spike LJ Comment Drabble by Ladycat Set AtS S5, before Spike becomes corporeal He flickers, sometimes, like a tv station that isn't quite tuned in, radio that drifts into hissing aether if the dial isn't placed exactly. Angel pretends it doesn't bother him, pretends he's glad Spike's gone off to some place else, but he's lying. Fred looks sad and a little angrily at him, every time, and Angel takes that as the punishment he's due for his lies. He just doesn't know how else to say it. "I'm tired." It's late, LA allowing the darkened sky in grudgingly, trying her best to fend it off with spangled lights. Angel stares out a window that holds no fear for him and doesn't say anything. "I thought -- I actually hoped, you know?" Angel knows. That's why he lies. "I mean," Spike continues, laughing in a breathless, strained way that means tears that he's been so much better at, "I finally had that one moment, you know? Blaze of glory. Don't something right. Doing something." Angel closes his eyes against the reflections he can't see. "It can't just be one thing. That's not enough." Spike makes a wounded noise, quick enough that its involuntary and probably unnoticed. Because that is Spike, the thoughtless man who cares too much. Even dead, he carries that burden well. "That's not enough, Spike. You have to do more." No answer from behind him and Angel doesn't turn around. He can't look back at plush leather seats and see nothing at all; it undoes him every time. When the hum starts up again, electricity crackling through the air, he repeats, "You have to do more." "Why, so I can be like you? Brooding and sullen?" No. Never. Because Spike can never be like him. But he says, "Yes," because Spike can never refuse a challenge, not from Angel, and Angel can't live with the quiet any longer. He needs the hum, that cracking, strident voice that goes to sex and silk whenever it chooses, a goad just as powerful as a spur in his side. "Just like me, Spike. See if you don't." "I would not, you tosser." -End Feedback |