a.connor  a.doyle  a.lindsey  a.oz  a.spike  a.wesley  a.xander  a.other  three.somes  het.fic  character.study           
Title: In The Wake Of Death
Author: Saber ShadowKitten 
Pairing: A/S
Rating: R
 Setting: During 'Forever'


He was sitting on the stone sarcophagus in the center of the room, his knees
pulled to his chest, his arms wrapped around his legs, his chin resting on
one denim-clad knee, staring blankly at the wall of the crypt.  Angel shut
and locked the crypt door, walked up behind him, and laid his hands on the
hunched shoulders.  "I'm sorry."

"You would be," Spike replied with a snort.

Angel lightly squeezed the thin shoulders before sliding his hands around
the younger man's body.  He gently pulled Spike back against him, resting
his cheek on the soft tangle of platinum hair.  He took it as a bad sign
when Spike didn't struggle to pull away.

"Is there anything I can do?"  Angel asked.

"Bring her back."

Angel closed his eyes.  "I wish I could."

Spike was silent for a long time, before he said, in a rough whisper,
"Then... just hold me."

Cold tears escaped from the corners of Angel's eyes as the smaller vampire
shook in his arms.  Apart from the occasional hiccough, Spike made no sound
as he cried.  Angel wished there was more he could do; that he had the power
to bring her back to life.  But he didn't.  So all he did was hold on
tightly to the man whose silent sobs of grief broke Angel's heart.

It hadn't been that long ago that Spike had sobbed in Angel's arms for a
different reason.  Those had been tears of joy and relief.  The operation
had been a success, the danger to her life, they'd thought, had been over.
Their time together that day had been a celebration, a reaffirmation of
life, despite their non-living status.

Their relationship was a tumultuous one; one that had started out of anger
and hatred, but had slowly returned to what it used to be, long, long ago -
friends, lovers, and companions.  Their relationship was a secret - who
amongst those they knew would understand?   They loved each other, but were
not in love; that was reserved for a blond slip of a girl who should, by all
rights, stake them both.

But eternity was a long time to spend without someone who understood every
facet of the other and would be there no matter what.

"I tried to leave flowers, but Xander...," Spike trailed off and sniffed
quietly.  "Have you been to see her?"

"No," Angel replied, knowing instinctively which 'her' the blond meant. "I
will, after the funeral."

Spike started to move, and Angel loosened his hold just enough for the
younger vampire to turn completely around and face him.  Tear-streaked
cheeks and red, puffy eyes looked up at him.  "The funeral isn't until
tomorrow."

"I know," Angel said.  He chased his thumb over a teardrop, dashing it away.
"But she has her friends, Giles and Dawn, and I knew that you needed me."

Spike blinked rapidly, tears welling in his eyes again. "Why do I feel like
this, Angel?  Why do I care?"

"Because it's how you are, Spike," Angel told him.  "It's what makes you
different than the other vampires, and you're better for it."

"Tell that to my aching heart," Spike grumbled, brushing his hands across
his damp face. "I hate feeling like this."

"I know you do."  Angel bent his head and briefly tasted Spike's tear-salted
lips.  "Just tell me what you need, Spike.  I'm here for you."

"Will you just hold me some more?" Spike asked, dropping his eyes.  "I
just... I need--"

Angel put his finger over Spike's lips, hushing him.  "Come to bed," the
older vampire instructed in a tender murmur.

Spike nodded and rose when Angel stepped away.  Both vampires shed their
clothing and met under the covers.  Angel spooned himself to Spike's back,
wrapping his arms around the leaner man.  Spike captured Angel's fingers and
held them pressed against his chest.  The older vampire placed a soft kiss
on the nape of Spike's neck and gently nuzzled the blond's short hair.

"Will it hurt this much when she dies?" Spike said in a raw whisper.

"No," Angel replied honestly.  "It'll hurt worse."

Spike pulled Angel tighter against him.  Angel closed his eyes and pushed
the thoughts of her death deep into the recesses of his mind.  In the dark
and silence of the crypt, Angel held Spike until night faded into day.  As
the sun slowly ascended the sky, Spike turned in Angel's embrace and lifted
his mouth in invitation.

Angel murmured nonsense words of comfort and covered Spike's mouth with his
own.  Unhurriedly, his lips moved over the other man's, drinking the dried
tears and sorrow.  

His large hands smoothed down Spike's skin, the hidden muscle rippling under his touch,
and he palmed the blond's hardening sex. Spike sighed into the kiss, his hips bucking
slightly against the older vampire's hand.

Angel firmed his grip and began a familiar rhythm, bringing his childe
pleasure in the wake of anguish.  His own manhood beckoned for reciprocation
but he ignored it.  His focus was completely on Spike, who was more
important, by far.

"Angel," Spike tore his mouth from Angel's with a gasp of the brunette's
name.  Angel's palm was slick with the younger man's pre-emissions, Spike's
length slipping easily in the channel made by Angel's hand.  The blond
writhed beside Angel, his slim fingers twisting in the older man's hair.

"Angel... pet," Spike panted.  "Soon... soon, soon."

"Yes, baby," Angel whispered, watching as his childe's face scrunched at the
edge of release.  "That's it... let go."

Spike came with a soundless cry, spilling himself onto Angel's abdomen, his
hand, and the bed between them.  Angel dusted kisses over Spike's face as
the blond drifted down from his pleasure plateau.  The blond opened his
eyes, the irises a deep blue, and he met Angel's gaze, sincerity shining in
their depths.  He went to speak, but Angel pressed a freshly wiped finger
against his mouth.  Angel replaced his finger with his lips and kissed Spike
deeply, and with love and affection.

Afterwards, Angel snuggled Spike to him, chuckling when the younger man
grumbled about the wet spot.  He stroked his hands up and down Spike's back,
resting his chin on top of Spike's blond head.  The crypt was once again
silent; outside, a new day was dawning, and life continued on.
 

End


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