a.connor  a.doyle  a.lindsey  a.oz  a.spike  a.wesley  a.xander  a.other  three.somes  het.fic  character.study           
Title: I Come in Service
Author: Cipher Muse
Pairing: A/Wes
Rating: PG
Setting: AtS S2- 'Epiphany' and 'Disharmony'

 

And for this I come in service to you.

For the snobby English accent and upper crust condescension.  For
hurt puppy blue eyes punishing me with their sadness. For your clumsy
attempts at authority. For the need and want and jealousy, painted
red on your cheeks. For your vengeance I have come back, I have
brought you back to my home.

Oh, Wesley. I never loved you. Did you know?

I look at Gunn, his trembling hand and confident face, the power he
submits to you with joy. His skin shimmers with sweat, his eyes
mirror you like dark water reflecting light. He would destroy me,
there is no forgiveness based on false assumptions in him. But he
will yield to you.

I was once that young, but I didn't know love.  Now I am so much
older than you can understand. I still don't know love, but I know
you. If I could love you now, I would walk away from your vengeance,
because without it you could build a wall against me. You could
forgive me freely, and sever our connection. If Gunn understood all
of this, he would still wait on your word. He is so young.

The light in this room is dim, but it shines on your glasses. Your
voice is thrumming with husky undercurrent and your hands seem unable
to hold onto anything you pick up. I can feel the heat from both of
you, I can smell salt and wet metal. I can smell your desire.

If I wait, you will come to my bed. And I will let you.

For this I have come to you. Because I am guilty, and I can not love
you, I am in service to your vengeance.

~End

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