a.connor  a.doyle  a.lindsey  a.oz  a.spike  a.wesley  a.xander  a.other  three.somes  het.fic  character.study           
Title: the feast of all saints
Author: chidori
Rating: R
Setting: An A/U Season 2 of Angel.

 

I was curious.

That's all there was to it. You really think a spot of
grave robbing is too horrible for me to do? I'm a
vampire, okay? Get the picture. I'm *evil*. It was
nothing I wouldn't do on my day off.

And, like I said, I was bloody curious. Nothing wrong
with that, is there?

Yeah, I sound defensive. You haul me in here ö like
you ever gave a shit about him and read me my
fucking *rights* - bitch, don't you know who I am?

No? Oh, I guess he never told you. Did he tell you
about Dru? Darla? Penn?

Hmmm. Funny how the poofster mentioned everyone except
me. Which is why I had to come down here. See if the
rumours really were true. See if my high and mighty
sire really had stooped that low· See if he really
*had* become cattle.

Oh, don't sneer at me, you stupid woman. Do you
honestly think that I care what you think? You're
*food* to me. Less than nothing. The only reason I'm
telling you this is 'cause finally something went
right. Things worked out exactly as planned. Only they
didn't.

Okay. Fine.

I got there about nine-ish, maybe a little later.
Stopped and had a snack beforehand  this was going to
be tiring work. One thing I remember about digging up
old bones is that they always stank to high heaven and
were buried a loooong way down. So I packed lunch.

Anyway. I dug him up. I found him. And what had been
left of him, do you suppose? Ashes? Dust, as we'd all
grown up to expect would be our fate? Nothing of the
sort. A nicely preserved body, with a bullet hole in
the centre of the forehead.

Funny how he died two days after he became human,
isn't it? You'd have thought The Powers That fucking
Be would give him a little longer than that, but no.
Two sunrises, and that was it. Your number's up old
boy, come on in out of the rain.

Well, *I* found it amusing. How that fucking pouf was
always going on about his sodding soul· where did it
get him? Shot in the head, the back of his skull caved
in and his brains seeping away in that nice coffin of
his. Real silk lining, too. I'm guessing Cordy and
Weasley really pushed the boat out on that one. Just
how quickly can you get a custom-made coffin in L.A.
these days anyway?

Okay, okay.

So, there I am, staring at what's left of him and
laughing my head off, obviously, and I get more
curious. He doesn't smell right. Sure, he smells like
food - rotten food, to be sure, but it's food
nonetheless - and sure, he smells like my sire. That's
to be expected. But, see, ever since I saw him that
first time, back in Sunnyhell, I've known that
something was wrong. I could smell it on him.

You've probably got no bloody idea what I'm talking
about. I ain't gonna give you a run-down course. With
your sire or your childe, sometimes you can just
*tell*. And he smelled wrong. Like something was where
it shouldn't be. Like things were out of balance.

So, I got curious. And I grabbed an arm; a leg· pulled
him to bits. Just a couple of limbs off, mind you, I
didn't want to make a mess. Rigor mortis had already
begun to set it, so it was not the most pleasing
activity I've ever done. But· he'd been my sire. So, I
grabbed his wrists and pulled.

I don't suppose you've ever flayed anyone? No, didn't
think so. I've only ever done it a couple of times ö
it's slow work, and I'm not really the patient sort.
But getting the meat off's okay. You slide the knife
under a major muscle, and it all comes off in one big
pull. It's easier when they've been dead for a bit too
as the meat's easier to cut.

What's the matter ducks? Squeamish? I thought you
wanted to know this?

You don't, do you? You want to know what I did with
the bullet I found in his head. Don't worry, it's in
a safe place now. After the trouble I had finding it·
that wasn't easy to get out either, I can tell you. I
had to do some serious digging around, and much as I'd
hated him, it was still a sin to be messing up that
pretty face. But you didn't care about that, did you
Kate? You just got real angry with him one time, I'm
guessing. You just got irritated, and hey! It's not
like you can hurt him, right? Not like he's mortal.
Not like he counts at all; he can go out there are
fight for you and your sorry little world, and you'll
still feel free to shoot him in the head because it
wouldn't matter. Because it's not like he's human. Is
it?

Well, you're right there. He *wasn't* human. No human
could have been that fucking patient. Do you want to
know what I found when I stripped off the meat from
his bones? Do you, Kate? I can see that you're scared,
luv. No need to be. See, this is my demon. Actually,
this is *me*. Not much of the old William left in me,
I'm afraid. And I can be damned glad of it, too! This
is Spike. And when Spike gets hungry, Spike feeds.
Like so.

Oh, put your gun down, I'm not going to bite. Just an
illustration. You understand, don't you? When I'm
hungry, I feed. When a human is hungry, they feed. But
my sire couldn't. That was one thing he told me, a
couple of years ago when he went mental ö he just
couldn't take not being able to feed. It drove him
insane. But he didn't slip up. Not around you either,
I'm guessing. Or did you think he went off hunting on
the sly? Hah! You did. That's trust, that is. My faith
in humanity is restored.

He didn't, Katie luv. He stayed pure as a fucking
saint, although I'm sure you won't want to remember
that. Well, here's a thought to dwell on- he was as
hungry as me. As you. As anyone. But he didn't give
into the hunger once. But just because *he* couldn't
feed, that doesn't mean that the demon inside him
couldn't. Or that the soul· could· not·

Scared yet?

I'm not sure whether it was his demon or his soul, in
the end, that was the most hungry. But when I stripped
those layers of skin and muscle and baby fat away,
there was the one thing I was not expecting  teeth
marks on his bones. As if something had devoured him
from within.

But you're not going to choose to remember what he
sacrificed for you, for all of you, will you, Kate?
After all, it's not like he was human.
 

fin

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