Angelus felt an odd flip flop in his stomach as he rang the bell to the
Tanner's home. If it wasn't such a ridiculous notion, he'd think that
he was nervous.
"Mr. Angelus," Beth greeted upon opening the door. "Back so soon?"
"Aye," Angelus replied. "Is Tanner in, please?"
"No, me father is out for the eve-"
"Nay, not your father," Angelus interrupted. "Your brother."
Beth arched her brow. "You want to see me brother?"
Angelus nodded. "I wanted t' see if he'd like t' go get a pint with me."
The expression of amazement that crossed Beth's face surprised Angelus.
He knew that Tanner wasn't the social bug, but the lad had to have been
asked to get a drink before.
"Come in, Mr. Angelus," Beth said, stepping back from the doorway.
"Many thanks, Mrs. Bradford," Angelus said politely, entering the
Tanner household for the second time.
Beth closed the door behind him. "I'll get Tanner."
As she walked away, Angelus patted his black overcoat, checking to make
sure he still had the money he'd stolen from his dinner the prior
night. He was dressed casually for an evening of going to a pub, rather
than his usual finery; simple white shirt, black trousers, his worn
black riding boots. He put a hand to his hair, hoping the slight May
breeze didn't make the dark, six inch, brushed back tresses stick up
all over.
"H-Hello," Tanner greeted softly as he entered the foyer. His head was
downcast and the tips of his ears were red. "Beth said you wanted to-to
see me?"
Angelus's body hardened at the sight of the young man and he felt a
strange pang in the center of his chest. "Ay-e." His voice cracked on
the word and he cleared his throat before trying again. "Aye, 'tis
correct."
Tanner looked up at Angelus, but his gaze quickly skittered away. He
nervously played with a the button on his off white shirt just above
the waistband of his dark brown trousers. "Oh... er..."
"I was hopin' you'd come out t' the pub with me," Angelus said.
"Why?"
Angelus was surprised by the extreme wariness in Tanner's tone. The lie
he'd prepared felt awkward when he said it and his brogue deepened
because of it. "I be new t' London an' ye seemed like a nice enough lad
close t' me age that me thought mayhaps ye'd be willin' t' get a pint
wit' me."
Tanner nibbled on his lower lip and studied Angelus under his lashes.
"I-I can't."
"What?" Angelus said incredulously. The beginnings of anger replaced
his surprise. "Ye mind tellin' me why ye canna? The truth, lad. I've no
patience fer lies."
"You-you-you said you're new to L-London," Tanner stammered, staring
down at his feet. "If you're seen with me, you-you'll make no other
m-mates. You'll b-be labeled a-a-a qu-queer."
"Yer point?"
Tanner's head snapped up and he stared at Angelus, wide eyed. "What do
you mean?"
Angelus felt fire seep into his veins when his eyes locked with
Tanner's and he knew right then that he had to be honest if he wanted
to have the young man willingly come to his bed. And he very much
wanted Tanner willingly in his bed.
"I lied t' you, Tanner," he said, his thick brogue slipping away into
his more cultured, Irish lilted speech as his anger vanished. "I'm not
new t' London. I want you t' come out with me because I want t' get
t'know you. And if you fear what others will say, don't bother," he
winked at Tanner, "because 'twill be the truth."
The dark haired vampire watched as a red flush slowly crept over the
young man's skin. Tanner broke eye contact and put his hands one over
the other in front of the growing bulge in his trousers. The scent of
arousal assailed Angelus's senses and it took all his willpower not to
pounce on Tanner right there in the foyer. Despite the sable haired
youth's obvious desire for him, Angelus knew Tanner's shyness would
make him flee if the vampire made that sort of sexual overture.
"Well, will you be comin' then?" Angelus asked, tongue-in-cheek.
Tanner's flush grew so deep in color, he looked like he smeared
cranberry jam all over his face. "I-i-i-if y-you wish m-me to," he
stuttered, extremely flustered.
Angelus chuckled. "Grab your coat, lad. 'Tis a bit nippy out this
night."
"Right." Tanner turned on his heels and practically bolted from the
foyer.
Less than three seconds later, Beth strode purposely up to him, a hard
look to her face. "Now you bloody well listen here, Mr. Angelus," she
said in a harsh whisper. "You'd best not be messing with Tanner or I'll
get me father's cane and tan your soddin' hide, no matter how big you
think you are. I've bandaged him enough and watched him close himself
off too many bleedin' times because he'd been hurt by other pillocks
who've said they wanted to be chums, only to turn around and beat him
because he's different.
"Tanner is a soft soul, Mr. Angelus," Beth continued. "He's always been
shy, but his shyness has steadily grown more pronounced since he became
a man some nine years ago. If you want to be his mate, good, because a
person should have more than one chum. If you want to be more than his
mate, that's good, too, as long as you don't hurt him. If you're just
here to get a bloody cheap laugh, you can turn around and march out
that door straight to hell."
She's like a mother hen with her feathers ruffled, Angelus thought,
keeping the smirk from his face. "I've not designs t' hurt the lad,
milady," he told her. "I just be wantin' t' get t' know him."
Beth nodded. "Right then. I'll leave you to him. But remember my
warning."
She started to walk away the same time that Tanner returned, wearing a
calf length black overcoat. "I'm going out, Beth," the sable haired man
told his sister.
"I know, luv," Beth said. "Enjoy yourself. I'll see you on the morn."
Tanner gave her a small smile, which she returned before continuing
back to the kitchen. He glanced at Angelus and ducked his head. "I'm
ready, guv."
"Call me Angelus, Tanner," Angelus instructed as he reached for the
door. "And stick close t' me. There be all sorts o' nasty things out
this time o' night."
"Right... Angelus."
Angelus never realized the sound of his own name could cause his toes
to curl.
*****
Angelus held the door open and allowed his companion to proceed him
into the pub on Drummond Street. The pub was fairly crowded and the
scent of unwashed bodies, ale and smoke was heavy in the air. The
furnishings were worn, a testament to the long standing establishment.
Boisterous voices carried across the room, from the long bar to the
tables to the dart boards, as friends greeted friends, fights were
picked and settled, and complaints were emphatically made about work
and women.
"Try t' find us a table, lad, and I'll get us our pints," Angelus
instructed, leaning closer to Tanner to speak near the young man's ear.
He smelled the faint scent of honeysuckle coming from Tanner's hair and
skin and it sent a sliver of arousal to his groin.
"Right," Tanner agreed, moving further into the pub.
Angelus made his way to the bar and quickly ordered two drinks. His
gaze slowly traveled around the room as he waited for the bartender to
fill his order, his eyes noting possible hazards and the exits. He took
in the general mood of the patrons. He didn't want his first outing
with Tanner to be tainted with violence.
Ah, Tanner, Angelus thought, his gaze easily landing on where the sable
haired man had claimed a table. There was something about the youth
that pulled on him in ways he hadn't felt before. Yes, the sexual
attraction was high between them, but Angelus had the insane desire to
want to see Tanner simply smile at him, and he didn't know why.
Picking up the matching tankards, Angelus headed towards the saved
table. Tanner looked up when Angelus was part way across the room and
he inhaled sharply when his eyes locked with the other man's. There was
no question, Angelus had to have this human.
"I see you've found us a good one, Tanner," Angelus said, placing the
amber liquid on the table before sitting down across from the young man.
"Got l-lucky," Tanner said, his long fingers curling around the tankard
before him as he dropped his gaze.
"Aye, you did," Angelus said. "There seems t' be a bit o' a crowd this
night. Is it always like this?"
Tanner shrugged, his gaze focused on the alcohol.
"Tanner, I'm goin' t' warn you only once. You are t' answer me when I
speak t' you," Angelus said with irritation. "If I wanted t' have a
conversation with meself, I would've brought Drusilla out instead o'
you."
"S-s-s-sorry," Tanner stuttered. "I c-can't... I don't..." He stopped,
swallowed, darted an uncomfortable glance around at the other patrons,
then went on. "...I'm not good w-with people."
"Dinna worry about them, focus on me," Angelus said. "I know you're
shy, lad, but I'm not goin' t' bite you right at this very moment."
"So, are y-you planning on doing it l-later, then?" Tanner ventured
with a heavy blush and a hesitant half smile, glancing up at the
vampire from under his long lashes.
"Aye, Tanner, I just might," Angelus replied with a chuckle. He leaned
forward and added devilishly, "But you'll never guess where."
"At Euston Station?" Tanner joked shyly, his words almost running
together as he said them.
Angelus laughed loudly, drawing the nearby patrons' attention to him.
"Mayhaps at Euston Station, aye."
Tanner raised his head and gave Angelus a bashfully happy smile, his
eyes crinkling in the corners. Angelus was extremely glad he was seated
because the world shifted under his feet. It was the first time Tanner
had fully smiled and the effects were devastating. Angelus didn't know
whether to laugh in joy, puff up with pride for causing the smile or
throw the boy down onto the floor and make mad passionate love with him.
Angelus chose the second option, straightened in his chair and gave
Tanner a rapscallious grin in return. "'Tis a good sense o' humor you
have there, lad. I'd best be on me toes, lest you out-jest me."
Tanner colored with pleasure, the tips of his ears taking on a rosy
hue. He dropped his chin and fiddled with the tankard on the table.
"So, Tanner, tell me what do you do t' earn your keep," Angelus said,
even though he already knew, before taking a draught from his drink.
Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed one burly patron sitting a few
tables away had taken an interest in them.
"I'm a tailor," Tanner said, his voice soft, but mostly stutter free.
"I work for Mr. Crittendon o-over in Euston Square."
"Do you enjoy it?" Angelus asked, glad that the sable haired mortal had
taken heed of his warning and also seemed to be relaxing a bit.
"It's all right," Tanner replied with a shrug. He traced his finger
down the side of the tankard, creating a clear path through the
moisture. "I get to work alone, which is a good thing," his lips curled
up in a smile, "and I get to make eyes at who comes in without being
seen..."
He abruptly blushed a brilliant shade of magenta. "Pre-pretend y-you
didn't 'ear that l-last bit."
Angelus chuckled. "Nay, dinna worry, Tanner. 'Tis something I do meself
and quite often, as well."
"Well, well, what 'ave we 'ere? Looks like good ol' Willy's got 'imself
a new mate."
Tanner blanched and seemed to curl into himself when the man Angelus
had been keeping an eye on came up to their table. Angelus frowned at
Tanner, then swept his irritated gaze up to the large man standing
beside them. The vampire recognized him as being one of the people
who'd bothered Tanner a week prior.
"Go a-a-away, M-Mick," Tanner stammered in a small voice.
Mick ignored Tanner and focused on Angelus. "I thought I'd come over
and give warnin'. It bein' as how I've not seen you round 'ere before,
I figured you must be a newcomer to the north end."
Angelus didn't reply to the subtle prompt as to his newness in the
city, he only arched his brow and waited.
"Right then," Mick said. "Just thought I'd tell you Willy 'ere is a
great steamin' pouf, so you'd best get far away before you're bloody
well labeled that yourself."
Before Angelus could tell the man off, Tanner spoke up angrily,
surprising the vampire. "Don't call m-me that, y-you effin' ponce."
"I'm tremblin' in me boots," Mick said. "What're you goin' to do,
nancyboy, tell your mummy?"
"I'm goin' to break your bloody jaw, that's what," Tanner said, rising
to his feet.
The shy one had backbone, Angelus thought with a touch of pride. He'd
seen it briefly the week before, but he didn't know he'd get to see it
again so soon. And it was nice that Tanner did have some balls to stand
up for himself. Intriguing shyness aside, there was such a thing as
being too pathetically weak, and that was something Angelus couldn't
stomach more than a few days. One Drusilla was enough.
Mick laughed mockingly as he took a step closer to Tanner. The other
man towered over Tanner by close to a foot and had at least a hundred
pounds or the youth. "Go ahead," Mick leaned forward and pointed to his
chin, "give 'er your best shot."
Tanner's hands were clenched into trembling fists at his sides and
Angelus could hear the boy's heart pounding loudly despite the noise in
the pub. The vampire could tell Tanner was scared, both of getting a
beating and of losing face in front of him. Angelus knew he could help
-- Mick was no threat to him at all -- but that would end up making
things awkward between him and the sable haired mortal.
Angelus folded his hands behind his head and relaxed back in his chair.
If things got too out of hand, he'd help, but, until then, he'd allow
Tanner to fight his own battle. And, much later, he'd kill Mick for
interrupting his night out with the handsome youth.
"Just leave us alone," Tanner said, glaring up at Mick.
Mick snorted and straightened. "Right. Like I'm goin' to listen to your
soddin' demands."
"Who do you think will listen when I start spreadin' the word about how
good you are in the sack?" Tanner asked him, his voice low and angry.
"Or about how I loved feelin' your hand wrapped around me prick,
wankin' me off? Or how you begged me to suck you and use me fingers to-"
Mick's fist flew out and smashed into Tanner's eye. Tanner staggered a
step back, caught his knees on the chair and sat down hard as he lost
his balance. The bigger man snagged Tanner by his off white shirt,
lifted him back out of the chair and right off his feet.
"You an' me are goin' outside," Mick growled, practically nose to nose
with Tanner.
"Anxious to bugger me, lover?" Tanner said in soft falsetto.
Mick's face turned purple and his arms began to shake from withholding
his fury. "I'm goin' to break you in 'alf an' make you suck your own
cock, you fucking nonce."
"Me cock's long enough that I can do that without the pain...," Tanner
winked at him, "...but you already knew that, didn't you, pet?"
Oh hell, how Angelus wanted the boy. He was very glad he chose not to
interfere, because he'd never have gotten to see the fire within the
handsome man. That friend of Tanner's, Anna, had said something about
the mortal being shy unless he was mad, and she hadn't lied one bit.
Mick sputtered in rage and Tanner used the opportunity of the brute's
speechlessness to wrap his hands partially around Mick's biceps, close
the distance between their faces, and give Mick a short kiss right on
the lips.
Angelus hooted in laughter at the same time Mick threw Tanner away from
him. Tanner crashed back into the chair, taking it over with him as he
toppled to the floor. Patrons cleared out of the way and several yelled
bets back and forth as the bigger man stomped over to Tanner and kicked
him in the ribs.
The vampire decided he'd better step in before his soon-to-be bed mate
was too injured to participate. Without any trouble, Angelus grabbed
Mick's shoulder, spun the man around and cold cocked him. Mick's eyes
rolled up and he dropped bonelessly to the floor... right on top of
Tanner.
"Oi, get this pillock off me," Tanner grunted.
Angelus effortlessly moved Mick aside and offered a hand to Tanner.
"You okay, boy?" the vampire asked as he helped Tanner to his feet.
Tanner hissed and pressed his right arm close to his side. "Yeah, I'm
peachy."
Angelus shook his head in amusement, threw his arm around Tanner's
shoulder and led the young man out of the pub. "That was quite the
interestin' fight, Tanner," the vampire commented once they were out on
the street.
"I don't n-normally do that," Tanner said.
"Well, what do you normally do?" Angelus asked.
"Get the tar beat out of me," Tanner replied, giving the vampire a
quick grin.
Angelus chuckled. "Aye, well, if it be any consolation, you were about
t' have that happen."
"Thanks, mate," Tanner said sarcastically.
The short walk back to Tanner's flat, on Hampstead Road, was made in
companionable silence. Angelus warned off a vampire with a flash of his
golden eyes when the fledgling made to attack from an alley, but the
rest of the trip was without mishap.
There was a gas lamplight directly in front of the Tanner residence,
which cast a cheery, flickering glow on the sidewalk and against the
front facade of the home. Angelus made mental note to make certain the
lamp light was always lit, thus creating less of a temptation for other
creatures of the night to attack Tanner as he fumbled for his key. Not
that he planned on allowing another night to pass without being at the
mortal's side.
"Right, well, th-this is m-me," Tanner said, his shy stutter returning.
He turned to face Angelus as he pocketed his key after unlocking the
door.
"Aye," Angelus said. "You'd best put somethin' cold on that eye o'
yours. 'Tis already turnin' an attractive shade o' bishop's blue."
"Al-alright," Tanner said, twisting the edges of his overcoat, his dark
head downcast. "I, er, g-guess I'll see you s-sometime."
"On the morrow, eight o'clock," Angelus said. "And, if I'm a lucky man,
our second courtin' eve will be as entertainin' as this one."
Tanner's head shot up, in what was becoming a familiar manner to
Angelus, and the young man's eyes were huge as he met the vampire's
steady gaze. "Courting?"
"Aye, 'tis what I'm doin'...," Angelus gave him a dry smile, "...'less
I'm doin' it wrong."
Tanner's voice squeaked as he replied, "No."
"No, I'm doin' it wrong, or no, I'm doin' it right?" Angelus teased.
"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-"
"Breathe, lad," Angelus interrupted. "Lest you swoon like a woman." The
dark haired vampire struck a thoughtful pose. "Hmm, on second thought,
swoon away. I'd be happy t' catch you in me arms."
Tanner sucked in a large breath of air and backed up until he hit the
front door to his home. His heart was hammering so loudly, Angelus was
afraid it was going to come right out of the boy's chest. The vampire
decided he'd better stop playing with Tanner before he scared the shy
man into not wanting to go out with him the following night. Plus, he
had an interfering mortal named Mick he wanted to hunt and kill.
"Go ahead inside, Tanner," Angelus told the sable haired lad softly.
"I'll see you on the morrow."
Tanner nodded rapidly, his hand searching for the door handle without
looking. One corner of Angelus's mouth curled up at the young man's
actions and he took a single step back when Tanner finally got the door
open.
"Goodnight," Angelus said with a polite dip of his head.
"'N-n-night," Tanner stammered in a higher than normal tone of voice.
Angelus started away and chuckled to himself when his enhanced hearing
picked up Tanner's softly spoken, amazed words before the human shut
the door.
"Cor, I'm being courted."
Part Four
Los Angeles, Saturday, 27 May, 2000
Two days had passed since Tanner had appeared back in Angel's life. Two
days of researching and sleeplessness and bittersweet memories. Two
days filled with daydreams and nightmares of times long past, invoked
by the sable haired human who had no idea what he'd meant to the
vampire.
Angel couldn't stop the memories that kept overwhelming him over the
past two days. The remembrances weren't in any particular order, just
random snippets from a time when he, as a true demon, had been
completely and undeniably happy.
It was that happiness that was causing Angel's nightmares, though. His
mind brought forth images of the horrendous tortures he'd inflicted on
the London populace after each of his dates with Tanner. The mortal had
made the vampire feel all tender and sweet and had turned his insides
to mush, feelings which he had abhorred an hour after parting from the
young man.
Drusilla was another unpleasant memory that kept popping up in Angel's
mind. The female vampiress had been jealous the time he spent with
Tanner after that first week, and she'd set about making her
unhappiness known. The vileness of her gifts to him as she had tried to
bring his attention back to her turned Angel's stomach even now, over a
century later. Angel remembered that he had finally given Dru a quest
to find a mortal homosexual female, with true red hair and brown eyes,
in order to get her out of his sight and allow him freedom to pursue
his obsession with the handsome boy, Tanner.
Not all the remembrances were unpleasant. Quite the contrary -- Angel
was having a very hard time keeping his hands off of Tanner because of
them. He had been moments away from giving up his control and
passionately attacking the mortal when Cordelia had unintentionally
come to his aid by whisking Tanner away to show him the marvels of the
just starting twenty first century... beginning with the shopping mall.
And, of course, Cordelia had taken Angel's money with her.
Angel dropped his head onto the backrest of his chair and shut his
eyes. Wesley had left for the library roughly three hours before to
research the local conditions in London at the time Tanner had stepped
into the future. Normally, his associate would simply use the computer
in the main office to do such research, but Angel knew there was a
certain blond divorcee who worked at the library and whom Wesley felt
would give him the assistance he needed for his arduous task.
A smile tugged at the corners of Angel's lips. Love was in the air, and
it made both humans and demons alike do funny things.
Angel remembered the night over a hundred odd years ago that Tanner had
invited him to a dinner party the mortal's father was hosting. The
vampire recognized the signs of love now as he thought back, but at the
time he hadn't known he had fallen for the sable haired youth.
The dinner party had been like any other dinner party the vampire had
attended when he'd been on the hunt, with mortals dressed in their
middle class finery, sipping sherry and smoking cigars. The food itself
had been delicious, according to Tanner, but since his sister had made
the meal he'd been hard pressed to be impartial.
Angel remembered that it was after the meal had been served, when the
men had retired to the study and the women to the parlor, that the
soulless vampire he once was had almost lost his precious control. At
the meal, Tanner and he had sat at the opposite end of the table from
the mortal's father. He'd engaged in light conversation with William
Tanner II's attorney friend and the attorney's wife. Tanner had sat
across from the vampire as was custom, and his shy, softly spoken
additions to the conversation had shown his intelligence and had
endeared the human even more to the dark haired vampire's heart.
After dinner, in the study, Angel remembered that Tanner had offered to
pour him a glass of sherry. The vampire had accepted and watched with
hungry eyes as the sable haired young man walked away. The finery
Tanner had been dressed in had made the vampire want to rip every last
stitch of the fine clothes to pieces. The boy's crisp white shirt was
in great contrast to his sharply pressed burgundy waistcoat and
matching burgundy cravat. It had been while he'd been fantasizing on
what he'd do once the mortal was fully nude that he'd inadvertently
overheard Tanner's father.
And it had taken all his willpower, plus some, not to jab the cigar
cutter that'd been in his hand into William J. Tanner, the second's,
throat.
The recollection of the cruel things Tanner's father had said about the
youth incensed Angel even now. It reminded him of the way his own
father had treated him, but at least the human named 'Liam' had
deserved much of the insults and dressing down of his character. The
mortal Angel had once been had been a lazy, self serving, whoring,
drunken fool, who refused to work only because his father had wanted
him to.
Tanner, on the other hand, had a beautiful soul, had done what he'd
been told, had helped his sister, had earned his keep, and had tried
never to make waves with those around him. And yet, his father had
spoke of his only son -- with Tanner in the room, no less! -- as if
Tanner was a leper, a boy to be avoided at all costs lest his shyness
or his homosexuality rub off on anyone.
Angel knew now, logically, that Tanner's father had been lashing out
because of his disappointment that the Tanner name wouldn't be
continued. But, back then, the vampire had wanted to tear the elder
Tanner's tongue out and eat it before the man's very eyes.
Angel took a purposeful breath in order to calm himself. It wouldn't do
him any good to get upset over something that happened a very long time
ago, even though, to Tanner, the event hadn't even occurred yet.
That thought pulled Angel back to the task at hand : finding out how
Tanner came to be in the present and why. Over the past two days, with
the help of his co-workers, he'd found a complex spell that would send
Tanner back to his own place and time, without memories of the
unexpected visit to the future, but they'd found no answers as to
Tanner's appearance to begin with.
Was the human a part of a prophecy they'd yet to uncover? Was his
appearance to remind Angel that not everything that had happened before
he'd gained his soul was bleak and horrid? Or was it a reminder of
another life he had destroyed?
Angel sighed unhappily. When his thoughts weren't in the past, they
were going round and round over the question as to why Tanner was in
the year 2000. There had to be a clue somewhere.
The phone rang and Angel picked it up, grimacing when he remembered the
last time he answered the phone a telemarketer had about talked his ear
off. "Hello?" he said tentatively.
"Angel? It's Rupert. Rupert Giles," Giles's voice said clearly across
the line.
Angel relaxed back in his seat, glad it wasn't a dreaded operator, then
straightened immediately when the name clicked in his mind. "Rupert,
what's wrong? Is it Buffy? Is she okay?"
"What? Oh, yes, yes, Buffy is fine," Giles reassured him. "Everyone's
fine here."
Angel thought he heard a "Hey!" shouted in the background over the
phone. "That's good. Um, so..." He let the prompt dangle, waiting for
the ex-Watcher to go on. When the other man didn't, he hid a sigh and
said, "Rupert, why are you calling?"
"Right, er, my apologies," Giles said. "Spike is making a nuisance of
himself, as usual."
The dark haired vampire's brows went up. "What is Spike doing there?"
"He's... well, disappearing," Giles replied.
"He's what?"
"Dis-disappearing," Giles repeated. "As in, becoming more translucent.
I can see through him and he isn't too thrilled with that fact."
Angel frowned in thought. "Is he a ghost?"
"No," Giles said. "I can touch him readily enough, and he is able to
pick up and move objects on his own. No walking through walls and such."
"Do you think maybe he had an invisibility spell cast on him?"
"To what purpose?" Giles asked in return. "Willow and Tara have both
denied casting any such spells, Spike is adamant about not wanting to
be invisible and-and we can think of no one else who would want to
bother with casting such a spell on him."
Angel heard Spike in the background, undoubtedly telling Giles off for
the subtle insult he'd spoken. Only Spike would have the balls to tell
off the person who was trying to help him.
"How long has he been like he is?" Angel asked.
"It seems to be a gradual dissipation of his solidity," Giles replied.
"According to Spike, on Thursday afternoon, when Xander had gone to see
if he was in Sunnydale, as Cordelia -- a-and I presume, you -- had
requested, he said he awoke feeling odd. On Friday morning, he noticed
he could seethe bright light from the television shining through his
hand. By that night, he said he was able to see the dull glow of a
burning out streetlight and the blurry outline of the light post
through his hand. Now, today, I can see through him myself, but not,
er, perfectly clear."
Angel's hand had frozen in the midst of reaching for a pencil at the
words "on Thursday afternoon," and the rest of what Giles had said
barely seeped into his mind.
Thursday afternoon was when Tanner had appeared in the office of Angel
Investigations.
Thursday afternoon was when Spike woke up feeling odd.
Tanner had been in the year 2000 for two days.
Spike had been slowly disappearing over the past two days.
"Holy shit," Angel swore.
"I-I beg your pardon?" Giles said over the line.
"Oh, sorry, Rupert," Angel said, cringing at his crass words. "I just
realized what may be happening to Spike."
"And it caused you to speak an obscenity?" Giles sighed. "Now, why do I
get the feeling I'm not going to want to pass the information on to
Spike?"
"You're not," Angel answered simply. "And I'm not going to tell you
what's happening, either. At least, not yet."
"And why, pray tell, is that?" Giles asked.
"Because I'm not sure if I'm correct or not," Angel said. "Just keep an
eye on Spike. If he asks, tell him I'm working on the answer."
"Very well," Giles agreed. "Please call as soon as you can."
"I will," Angel said. "And call me if there's a notable difference in
his translucence."
Angel hung up after saying his good byes and stared blankly across the
office. Spike was disappearing. That in and of itself wasn't such a
heartache. The blond bastard had tortured him, had gone after those he
cared for and loved, and had helped to send him to hell.
No, not him -- Angelus.
Spike had aligned with Buffy against Angelus, something that was almost
unheard of for the younger vampire to do. Granted, opening the demon
dimension wasn't one of Angel's soulless counterpart's brightest ideas,
but he still hadn't expected Spike to turn against him. In fact, he
would have picked anyone out of a trillion vampires who'd turn against
him over Spike. Even Drusilla.
But, Spike had done it; Angel, with his soul intact, had gone to hell,
and the world had turned on. And later, Spike had returned to
Sunnydale, spouted nonsense about love and hatred, and then left again
only to return and torture the dark haired vampire for a piece of
jewelry. Then again, Spike always was a sucker for a pretty gem.
Angel stood and walked into the main part of the office to pour himself
a cup of what Cordelia claimed to be coffee. Coffee made him jittery,
but, right then, he needed something to jolt him out of his shock.
Because, if what he thought was true, Tanner's presence in the future
was altering history.
Angel swallowed a sip of the bitter brew, made a face, then tossed back
the rest as his mind turned over the new piece to the puzzle he'd been
given by Giles. If Tanner's being in the future was changing the past,
would it also mean that Angel's memories would start to fade, as well?
Would the events that occurred as a direct result of Spike being a
vampire never have happened? Would Spike have ever existed to begin
with?
Angel knew immediately that the answer to his last question was a firm
'no'. Spike, the vampire, would never have existed if the
mortal hadn't met Angelus. Tanner would have lived out his human life,
never learningof the viciousness and atrocity of vampirism. He never
would have lost his pure soul and adorable shyness. He never would have
stopped blushing every time sex was referred to, despite being made
love to every night for nine months before he was turned.
The little devil inside Angel's conscious spoke up, adding to his list.
Tanner also may have never known what it felt like to be truly loved
for who he was. He may have never known the touch of another man. He
may have died from any number of things before he'd even received a
simple kiss from someone who desired him.
Angel leaned his back against the door frame to the inner office and
stared bleakly at the chipped wood across from him. The first kiss that
he'd shared with Tanner was one of the most wonderful experiences in
his long life. In fact, every experience that he'd had with Tanner
rivaled those he cherished having with Buffy. Or rather, Angelus had.
"Damn, I'm getting a headache," Angel muttered, banging the back of his
head lightly against the door frame. Angel, Angelus; Angelus, Angel.
Same body, same memories, same knowledge of what true love felt like,
same knowledge of losing that love.
"What I wouldn't give for a simple case," Angel sighed, moving back
over to his desk to continue researching. "Like a six ton, elephant
like Percius demon that breathes fire and is virtually unkillable."
But, instead of a Percius demon, Angel's mind conjured up memories of
two ton elephants and first kisses on a quiet night in June.
*****
London, Thursday, 16 June, 1872
Angelus and Tanner strolled through the Regent's Park Zoo, the bright
full moon providing all the light they needed. They were the only two
people there, the zoo having closed at sunset. Angelus had wanted to do
something different with Tanner and, while waiting for Tanner to finish
helping Beth, so they could go out, the human's niece, Mellie, had been
extolling the virtues of the trip to the zoo she'd made that day.
The animals were noisy in their cages, the night bringing the predators
out of their daytime slumber. Angelus smiled each time Tanner jumped,
startled by an animal's call. The vampire briefly wondered what would
happen if he were to roar himself in true demon fashion. More than
likely, Tanner would faint like a silly woman.
Hmm, Angelus thought. If Tanner fainted, he'd have an excuse to loosen
the human's clothing. Perhaps fawn over the boy a bit. A wicked smile
curved the vampire's lips.
"I don't think I l-like that smile," Tanner commented. Three weeks of
going out with Angelus every night had managed to displace most of the
young man's shy stutter. He was more comfortable in Angelus's company,
allowing their nights out to be more enjoyable. More companionable.
Angelus both loved and hated it.
He desperately wanted to kiss Tanner. He wanted to drink the mortal's
shy smile, sip the intelligence of his speech and lightly bite his
witty tongue. Angelus wanted to feel the warmth of the human as he held
the lad pressed against him. He wanted to hear Tanner's soft moans and
breathy gasps of excitement that he had caused with his lips and teeth
and tongue.
Three weeks of waiting for the right time to kiss Tanner. Three weeks
of Tanner's intense blue gaze, his honeysuckle scent and watching his
kissable lips move as he spoke. Three weeks of leaving Tanner's company
in painful arousal and having to fuck his prey before brutally killing
them.
There was something about Tanner, though, that prevented Angelus from
simply taking what he wanted. Every time the vampire came close to
pouncing, Tanner would turn and smile bashfully at him, or blush a new
shade of red, or make a quiet joke that would have him laughing loudly.
Even worse, he felt incredibly happy from just being in Tanner's
company. It was sickening, but he couldn't seem to change it. He truly
liked Tanner as an individual, not as a new pet or as a meal.
"What's wrong with me smile?" Angelus asked as they paused outside of
another animal exhibit.
"It matches his," Tanner replied, pointing at the golden lion pacing in
the back of the cage.
"Mayhaps 'tis because I'm a hungry predator, as well," Angelus teased.
Tanner's defined cheekbones colored as he jokingly asked, "And
wh-what's your prey?"
"Blue eyed lads with dark hair," Angelus answered with a wink.
"Angelus." Tanner blushed even darker.
Angelus chuckled. He pointed to the elephants across the path between
the cages and they headed over to them. "Your niece said these great
beasts were her favorite," he commented.
"Prolly because she got to feed 'em," Tanner said.
Angelus turned away from the elephants and leaned back against the
cage. "Have you ever been t' India, lad?"
"I haven't even been to the bloody Wax Museum," Tanner replied with a
small bite in his voice.
Angelus knew to steer clear of topics surrounding Tanner's bastard of a
father, for they could easily ruin a good night out. If, in the long
run, it wouldn't hurt the boy, the vampire would break the man's neck
in an instant. However, Tanner cared deeply for Beth and Mellie and,
without their father to support them, they'd end up on the streets...
or worse.
"Not t' worry, Tanner. India isna that wonderful a place," Angelus told
him. "But, in the land o' the dark skinned, the people ride elephants
like horses. 'Tis a very smelly way t' get from one place t' another."
"You rode on an elephant?" Tanner asked in amazement.
"Aye," Angelus replied. "And on camels, as well. I'd recommend the
elephants, though. They be a much friendlier animal."
It was at that very moment one of the elephants in the zoo chose to
show her species' friendliness by snaking her trunk through the cage
bars and snuffling Angelus's hair.
Tanner burst out laughing, the sound echoing in the zoo, causing the
animals to hoot and holler. Angelus scowled, shoved the elephant's
trunk away from him and grimaced when he felt a slimy substance in his
hair. Tanner clutched his stomach and laughed even harder at the
expression of disgust on Angelus's face.
"Are you laughin' at me, boy?" Angelus asked in an angry tone.
"Yes," Tanner chortled.
"An' do you think that be wise?" Angelus said, taking a menacing step
closer to the laughing man.
"No," Tanner gasped between laughs as he backed away from Angelus,
stopping when the giraffe cage was at his back.
"Well, then, dinna you think you should stop?" Angelus said, pinning
Tanner to the cage with one hand on either side of the young man,
gripping the black bars tightly.
"No," Tanner sniggered.
Angelus arched an imperious brow. "This be your last warnin', lad. Stop
your laughin' at me or pay the consequences."
"Maybe I want to pay the consequences," Tanner said, a husky teasing
note in his voice as his laughter died away.
Angelus's nostrils flared as he inhaled sharply, the scent of
honeysuckle overpowering the dirty scent of the zoo. The moonlight
shown down upon Tanner's flushed face, the white light creating small
diamonds in the sable haired mortal's blue eyes. Angelus could hear
Tanner's heartbeat pick up and the younger man started to breathe
faster as the current of electricity that seemed to flow between them
sparked.
With aching slowness, Angelus leaned closer to Tanner. He watched as
the younger man's eyes fell shut and heard the mortal's breath catch in
anticipation. Angelus wet his lips, closed his eyes, and pressed his
mouth to Tanner's.
The world exploded into light behind Angelus's closed eyelids. His
mouth began to tingle and he could not prevent the quick inhale of
unneeded breath. The vampire's heart felt like it had started again and
the sound of it pounding in his ears drowned out the sounds of the
animals.
Angelus brushed his lips back and forth over Tanner's until the younger
man's mouth parted. He felt Tanner grasp the front of his shirt as he
angled his head and deepened the kiss. Angelus groaned in the back of
his throat when he felt the tentative brush of Tanner's tongue on his
lower lip.
Angelus took the invitation and plunged his tongue into Tanner's open
mouth, sweeping the inside of the warm cavern without hesitation.
Tanner's body radiated heat that Angelus could feel through their
clothing as he pressed himself closer to the other man. He heard Tanner
moan softly and the vampire almost came in his trousers at the sound
he'd been longing to hear.
The dark haired vampire broke the kiss abruptly, leaving them both
panting heavily. His half lidded gaze hungrily drank in Tanner's darkly
flushed face and moist, swollen lips. Tanner's blue eyes were wide and
full of swirling emotions -- desire, wonder, happiness and confusion.
With another groan, Angelus bent and captured Tanner's mouth again in a
short, possessive kiss. The tingling in the vampire's lips spread
throughout his body like wildfire. He pulled away with a gasp and shut
his eyes tightly as he tried to regain his control before he took
Tanner hard against the cage.
"Crikey," Tanner breathed, a light break in his voice.
Angelus chuckled softly and opened his eyes. "Aye, 'tis 'crikey'
indeed," he agreed. He forced his hand to let go of the cage bar and
brushed his thumb across Tanner's warm cheek. "I've been wantin' t' do
that fer weeks."
"Why'd you wait?" Tanner asked, then turned a deeper shade of pink.
"I dinna know, lad," Angelus replied truthfully. He gave Tanner a
devilish smile. "But now that I know that you liked me kissin', I'll be
doin' it all the bloody time."
"Like n-n-now?" Tanner suggested with a bashfully hopeful look.
"Aye, like now," Angelus agreed, and he pressed his mouth to Tanner's
for the third of many kisses to come.
*****
Los Angeles, 2000
Angel quickly rose to his feet when Cordelia led a stunned looking
Tanner past him and into the lift to his apartment. "Tanner...
Cordelia, what happened?"
Cordelia gave Angel an innocent look. "We went shopping," she said,
pulling the lift gate shut. "Right, Tanner?"
Tanner's glazed eyes stared blankly at the lift wall.
Angel took the stairs and met Cordelia in his apartment, a scowl firmly
in place. He put is arm around Tanner's shoulders as soon as the gate
opened and led the sable haired man towards the bedroom.
"Tanner, are you okay?" Angel asked.
Tanner slowly turned his head and blinked owlishly at the vampire. His
pale face contrasted greatly against his borrowed dark shirt.
Angel swore silently and helped the mortal sit on the edge of the bed.
He quickly divested Tanner of his boots, unbuttoned the top two buttons
of the young man's shirt and gently pushed him back on the bed.
"Rest," the vampire instructed, brushing Tanner's slightly curled hair
back from his forehead. Tanner stared up at him dazedly. Angel
unconsciously let out a soft purr of comfort and brushed a kiss on
Tanner's brow. "You'll be okay, heartling. Just rest."
Angel shut off the night stand light and headed out of the bedroom.
Cordelia was sitting at the kitchen table, a plate of cookies in front
of her. He speared her with a furious look as he came to a halt on the
opposite side of the table and folded his arms across his chest.
"What?" Cordelia said. "I only took him shopping. Is it my fault that
the Spike Clone couldn't handle it?"
"Where did you take him?" Angel asked in a clipped tone.
"The mall," Cordelia answered. She snorted disdainfully. "He made a pig
of himself over Cinnabon. It was so embarrassing."
Angel pressed his lips in a thin line and waited.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Okay, he acted like a shy little boy who was
afraid of his own shadow every time someone got close to us. I had to
hold his hand the whole day. Do you know how many potential dates I
lost because of that?"
"Why didn't you just come home?" Angel said, irritated.
"There was a sale at Bakers!" Cordelia exclaimed.
"You terrorized Tanner for shoes," Angel growled.
"No, he liked the shoes," Cordelia said, biting into a cookie. "He even
found me this really nice light blue strappy pair that'll look so great
with my daisy chain skirt. Why is it that gay men have all the good
taste?"
Angel pinched the bridge of his nose. "Cordelia..."
"I mean, look at you," Cordelia said, gesturing at him with her cookie.
"You're half gay-"
"I'm half gay?" Angel peered at her over this fingers.
"- and you have great clothes," Cordelia continued. "They're all black
,but they're still great."
Angel sighed. Why was it he put up with her again?
"Oh, anyway, Tanner was ooh-ahh over the whole mall experience until we
went into Spencers."
"You took him to Spencers?!" Angel exclaimed. Doyle had taken him to
the specialty gift shop one November evening and it had taken him weeks
to scrape his jaw off the floor over what had been available right on
the shelf for the public to purchase.
Cordelia nodded. "Tanner turned as red as a Coke can and started
hyperventilating. I dragged him out of there and into the next store to
ask him what his trauma was when he freaked even more. I thought gay
men weren't supposed to get oogy over women's lingerie."
Angel searched his mind for the store that was located next to Spencers
in the mall. His eyes bugged. "You took him to Spencers then dragged
him into Fredericks of Hollywood?!"
"I didn't do it on purpose!" Cordelia exclaimed. "I wasn't schooled on
the dos and don'ts for annoyingly shy homosexuals!"
Angel pulled out the chair in front of him and sat down heavily. Poor
Tanner. The sable haired human couldn't even look at men's
undergarments without turning ten shades of red, which was why Tanner
never wore any...one of many little somethings the vampire had loved
about the boy.
"I take it you brought him home after that?" Angel asked.
"Yeah, I splurged on a cab," Cordelia said. "Not something I ever want
to repeat."
Angel groaned and dropped his head down on the table. First, she took
Tanner to Spencers and Fredericks of Hollywood. Then, she subjected him
to a high speed ride in a California cab. Poor, poor Tanner.
"Hello, all," Wesley greeted cheerfully as he entered the apartment.
Angel grunted.
"Trouble?" Wesley asked.
"Ask her," Angel said, pointing at Cordelia without lifting his head.
"Hey, if you didn't want me to take him shopping, you should have said
so," Cordelia said.
"Cordelia took Tanner shopping? Angel, are you certain that was a wise
thing to do?" Wesley said.
Angel raised his head and shot Wesley a glare. Wesley held up both his
hands. "Never mind," the rogue demon hunter said. He joined them at the
table. "I've found the information as requested at the library, Angel."
"Good," Angel said, straightening. "If we decide to send Tanner back, I
want to be sure nothing goes wrong."
"If?" Cordelia questioned. "I thought sending Prepubescent Spike back
was the main goal?"
"We still don't know why Tanner is here to begin with," Angel said,
ignoring her slight. "Until we figure that out, I don't want to chance
sending him back to the nineteenth century."
"Have you found any reference to a prophecy as of yet?" Wesley asked.
Angel shook his head. "No, and I'm starting to think we won't," he
replied. He went on to fill in his coworkers on his phone call from
Giles and what had befallen Spike.
Wesley tapped his chin when Angel finished, his brows furrowed in
thought. "And you surmise that having Tanner here, in the future, is
altering the past?"
"Yes."
"Wow, this is like a bad re-enactment of Back to the Future," Cordelia
said. Both men looked at her in confusion. "Hello? Michael J. Fox? 80's
movie? Scary neon vest?"
"Do you know what she's talking about?" Angel asked.
"Not a clue," Wesley replied.
"Ugh! You people have got to get a life!" Cordelia threw up her hands.
"Back to the Future was a movie about a kid who went back in time and
messed up the history."
"I don't know what-" Angel started to stay.
"I'm not done," Cordelia interrupted. "You see, Marty -- that was the
kid's name -- had this picture of his family. Every day that he was in
the past changing history, another person disappeared on the picture
until Marty was the only one left. Then he started disappearing on the
picture and in real life because he'd stopped his parents from getting
together."
Cordelia stopped and bit into another cookie. Wesley and Angel waited
for her to go on. She didn't.
Wesley and Angel exchanged sighs. "Cordelia, what happened next?"
Wesley asked.
"Next?" Cordelia said with a confused frown.
"In the movie?" Angel prompted.
"Oh, well, Marty made it so his parents fell in love, everyone
reappeared and they had lots of money," Cordelia said.
"So, what you're saying is..." Wesley frowned. "What are you saying?"
Cordelia sighed dramatically. "The past is being changed because Tanner
is here, not back in the dark ages where he belongs. That's why Spike
is pulling a vanishing act. Pretty soon, bye bye blond himbo."
"Blond himbo?" Angel smirked.
"Well, um, colorful descriptive aside, I concur with what Cordelia
suggests is happening with Spike," Wesley said.
"That was my conclusion, too," Angel said. He slumped back in his chair
and tapped the table with his fingers. "Trouble is, what are we going
to do about it?"
"Let the himbo go," Cordelia said promptly. She grinned at her rhyme
and ate another cookie.
"It's not that easy," Angel said.
"Why not?" Wesley asked.
Angel frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Tanner is living, breathing human being. Spike is a vicious, evil
vampire-"
"With his fangs capped," Cordelia interjected.
"-who destroyed many lives during his reign of terror," Wesley went on.
"You have a chance to save all those people as well as that shy young
man's soul. What other choice is there?"
Angel glanced back towards the dark bedroom. "Tampering with history is
wrong. Everything happens for a reason."
"Yes," Wesley said. "Including Tanner appearing in the future before
your soulless persona met him."
"So you think Tanner is here because I'm supposed to save his soul?"
Angel asked.
"It's your job," Cordelia pointed out.
Angel traced a heart on the tabletop with his finger. "It's still not
that easy."
"Why?" Cordelia said.
The dark haired vampire's face transformed into its true countenance in
an instant and he snarled, "Because it isn't!"
Angel stood abruptly, his chair scraping on the floor, and he stalked
to the sink. He gripped the edge of the counter, dropped his chin and
closed his golden eyes. He fought for control over his demon.
"Angel?" Wesley said tentatively.
"I... Angelus... he..." Angel took a purposeful breath and blew it out
sharply. "Angelus loved Tanner as much as I loved Buffy."
Cordelia gasped and Wesley murmured, "My word."
"Should I take that away from him... from me?" Angel asked, turning to
face his friends. His ridges stood out plainly on his brow. "Would I
have been able to love Buffy if my unsouled self hadn't learned what
love was with Tanner? Would I have made the same choices if I hadn't
met him? Would I even have my soul?"
All three of them were silent for a long time, each thinking about what
Angel had said. Angel forced his human mask back over his features and
swallowed back the lump in his throat. Tanner, and subsequently Spike,
was such an intricate part of the twenty years before he regained his
soul, he couldn't even picture what unlife would have been like without
the dark haired man.
"You said Mr. Giles would telephone if Spike's condition changed?"
Wesley inquired, breaking the silence. Angel nodded. "Then the decision
need not be made at this very moment." The ex-Watcher stood. "Come
along, Cordelia. Let us go gather the spell components, just in case."
Cordelia rose and gave Angel a consoling look. "It'll all work out,
Angel, you'll see. We live in California, a gay man's mecca, next to
Miami. Tanner will fit in just fine."
Angel watched as Cordelia and Wesley went up in the lift before he
moved. His long strides carried him across the apartment to the bedroom
quickly. The light from the living room cast a soft glow in the
bedroom, allowing Angel to easily see the sleeping man on his bed.
Tanner was laying on his stomach, both arms under the pillow his head
was resting upon. His face was peaceful in sleep, his long lashes like
dark half moons against his skin. His breathing was deep and even, and
Angel could hear the slow rhythm of the young man's heart clearly in
the silence of the bedroom.
Angel crouched down beside the bed, his brown eyes caressing Tanner's
sleeping features. He and the boy had slept together as often as they
could before Tanner was turned. As much as the vampire had wished it,
Tanner had refused to simply move in with him because they were
intimate. It wasn't proper, Tanner had told him over and over again.
"Hearts and flowers and love, that's all you ever wanted," Angel
murmured softly, reaching out to twist a lock of Tanner's dark hair
around his finger. "Could you find them here in the future?"
With a sigh, Angel released Tanner's hair, straightened and left the
bedroom. He had a lot of thinking to do, even though he wanted nothing
more than to crawl into the bed with the sable haired human, cuddle up
to his warmth and reminisce about all the nights the vampire spent
holding Tanner in his arms.
