This is how by Criss Moody

TITLE: This is how
RATING: PG-13
PAIRING (if any): Ben/Michael and Brian/Justin
VERSION : US SPOILERS : Spoilers for season 2 eps through 209.
SUMMARY: Ben's not so sure that Michael's a good bet.
DISCLAIMER: Lots of other people own the pretty gay boys. Sad Criss.
FEEDBACK: Yeah, that would be luverly.
ARCHIVE: List archives, yes. Others, please ask first.
Notes: Unbetaed. Zahra said it was good. Thus, it is her fault.

He'd love to believe in Michael. Let problems fade into kisses and forget that this isn't happy ever after. This isn't going to be forever. Forever's a fucking joke, a construct meant to comfort idiots who still think that God loves them and that America is a great country.

Ben wasn't always so cynical. He never was in speech. But inside, in where no one but his inner five year old was still unhappy about not getting a ice cream cone when his cousin did, well, inside Ben cursed God. He cursed Jamie, who honestly hadn't known he was positive. He cursed the doctor for telling him that he'd have a good life, with lots of drugs and safe sex. And he cursed himself for mouthing off about living in the now to a ridiculously impressionable adult man who listened to his friends more than he listens to himself.

He took a drink of his beer and looked around for Michael. His boyfriend, if he could call him that, was supposed to be here by now. Give him another 10 minutes, if he didn't show, Ben wasn't above taking to the dance floor alone. He and Michael haven't even talked about their favorite colors let alone about exclusivity. So "boyfriend" was probably an inappropriate term.

"Hey, where's the boyfriend?"

Two of Michael's friends, the kid and the smarmy looking one, idled up next to Ben with beers of their own.

"Who says he's my boyfriend?" Ben watched the kid's eyebrows raise. The blonde head turned toward his companion as if, Brian maybe?, was omniscient.

"Not me. Of course, if you're just fucking him, you might wanna tell him that. Don't want poor Mikey to get his heart all broken. Again."

The younger boy turned back to Ben, rolled his eyes at what Brian had said, and twisted away from him. Soon he was lost in the swell of bodies gyrating to the music.

"Raiding the cradle?"

Brian flashed Ben a tight grin. Not the sly spread of teeth Ben had seen before, but something that spoke of pain. Good. He wasn't so sure he appreciated Brian's comments.

"Better than fucking the emotionally immature."

"Isn't he your best friend or something? Not a nice thing to say about your best friend." Ben turned toward the bar and watched Brian's face in the glittering bar mirror. Alternatively green, blue, and red from flashing lights, the other man's face was devoid of reaction.

"Maybe. But I won't be the one to help him grow up. And trust me, it's about time that he grew up."

The song playing ended and the sweaty young blonde bounced up to Brian, placing hard kiss on his lips before grabbing his hands to drag him back out. Brian let it happen, but not before he nodded towards the entrance to the club where Mikey had just come in with more friends.

"He'll always be Mikey to me. But he's Michael to you, right?" With the cryptic comment of the evening award firmly in hand, Brian joined his lover on the dance floor. Ben grabbed a handful of salty peanuts and watched Michael approach.

Too soon, Michael slipped into Ben's personal space for a kiss. Ben looked down at Michael, studying the other man's eyes. Innocent puppy dog eyes, ooh, please don't kick me. It wasn't really too late to stop this.

"Hey!"

"Hey."

Michael lost a little bit of his shiny grin when Ben merely repeated him. The little furrow between his eyes, the 'frustrated/hurt/confused' furrow, appeared.

"What is it? Is something wrong? Did Brian say something to you?"

Ben considered say, yeah, he did. He thinks you're an idiot. He also apparently doesn't disapprove of us, a marked change from the rest of your friends and family whose opinions vary from disinterested to negative. He calls you Mikey because he has next to no belief in your maturity.

"Not much. Just said..." And Ben decided to do something nicer than probably Michael or Brian deserved. Because nobody needed to get hurt. Nobody needed to ache over airing some dirty laundry.

"You might be my Michael but you'd always be his Mikey. Then he took the blonde off to dance." Ben affected the best injured lover look he could manage.

Michael took Ben's hands in his and pressed a kiss to the knuckles.

"I like being *your* Michael. Thank you."

Emphasis on the word 'your' and Ben didn't have a lot of time to process that before Michael leaned up to softly press his lips to Ben's. Ben nibbled on Michael's lower lip until he felt it warm and well under his touch. Sucked the plump flesh into his mouth and heard Michael sigh happily.

Say one thing about this guy, he was habit forming. Ben already liked the way he kissed, the way he pressed himself into Ben like Ben was the safety blankets to end all safety blankets, and way he courted a man. Terrible singer.

Ben swayed with Michael next to the bar, exchanging kisses until he heard the song change to a slower tune. They drifted to the center of the floor and ended up next to Brian and the kid who danced cheek to cheek facing the same direction.

Their eyes drifted open at the same time to see Ben and Michael in an almost matching position. Michael looked for a brief moment at Brian before smiling against Ben's chest and closing his eyes. Brian met Ben's gaze and let his eyebrows raise a fraction.

Ben supposed that counted as a 'seal of approval' and let it go.

~the end~