later that evening...

lionsheep79: I'm tellin' ya, they're fine if they just sit around brooding and crying. Try to make them stand up and they trip over their feet. I'm no good with the technicals. I was nearly done with "The Preshow" before I realized that the bed shouldn't be in the living room, so now I've gotta make him walk through the living room into the bedroom, and it's just a hassle.
Kita0610: LOLOL!!!
lionsheep79: And this sex scene I'm writing right now!! it's awful. You can't imagine how awful it is.
Kita0610: honey thats one sentence. its ok. u can do it. "his large brooding naked ass walked to the bedroom"
Kita0610: forward it to me.
lionsheep79: Not yet. Probably tomorrow, though.
Kita0610: ok cool. ill tell u. i promise.
lionsheep79: Now I've gotta write a fic with the line "his large brooding naked ass walked to the bedroom."
Kita0610: LMAO IRL
Kita0610: "to play twister"
lionsheep79: oh, god, I'm dying over here. that's fucking hysterical. i can barely type.
Kita0610: I KNOW and...ok. theres angel..all broody..." o no, spike. look! i have to go to red!"
Kita0610: woe is red.
lionsheep79: "Goddamnit, ya soddin Poof, pay attention. That's orange."
Kita0610: woe is orange!
lionsheep79: "Spike, I'm sorry, I'm just not very good at this game, all those years I spent cut off from humanity..."
Kita0610: i killed an orange once..and i feel ...so..guilty!
lionsheep79: "Stop brooding and play the fucking game."
Kita0610: LOLOL
Kita0610: "couldnt we just shag?"
lionsheep79: "I don't deserve to play this game. I'm not worthy. And if I have too much fun playing Twister I might lose my soul!!!"
lionsheep79: Then they shag on the Twister mat. Priceless.
Kita0610: OK!! ANGELUS playing twister!!!! ((cuts the boys arm off and places it neatly in the red circle)) "there now. i win."
lionsheep79: Oh, god, that's beautiful.
Kita0610: LOLOL i know isnt it? good god. i must write that!
lionsheep79: Angel has too much fun playing twister, loses his soul, and Angelus wins the game.
Kita0610: LMAO!
Kita0610: irl..o man..make me stop, im giddy.
Kita0610: ok..will u write it with me??? like a RP game?? u be spike, ill be angel.(us)
lionsheep79: "You sodding bastard! Don't go losin' your soul now, I'm ahead by three points!"
lionsheep79: Hmmm... I'll try.
Kita0610: when ur dont with ur fic..and im done with mine..well write the fucking thing.
Kita0610: no no no
Kita0610: were gonna do this.
lionsheep79: Okay. Let's.
Kita0610: it will be your first post to the slash lists.
lionsheep79: Oh, god. What a debut.
Kita0610: well do it line by line and it wont take long.
Kita0610: yes, and ill introduce u as the finset writer of spike. GRIN
lionsheep79: Great. Now I've gotta figure out how to write slash... I can barely manage heteroerotica.
Kita0610: and we will get fanmail runneth amuck.
Kita0610: nah, well stop it before they do the whacky.
lionsheep79: Amok, amok, amok ("Hocus Pocus" flashback)
Kita0610: well just let them play tweister and feel eachtoehr up.
Kita0610: YES!
lionsheep79: Cool, I can cope with that.
Kita0610: yea. itll be a hoot.
Kita0610: then angelus comes and they go out for a beer.
lionsheep79: Lovely. I like that. "Been waitin' for that fuckin' SoulBoy to take a hike. Who knew that naked Twister could do the trick?"
Kita0610: exactly!
lionsheep79: This is quite possibly the craziest idea anyone has ever come up with. We're talking Oz-and-the-tree-bizarre.
Kita0610: "ah, spike my boy. lets go hunt down at the toys r us. perhaps we can come up with another game to suit our fancy....."
Kita0610: yea..its right up there.
lionsheep79: Classic.
Kita0610: im thinkin.
lionsheep79: So... why are they playing Twister in the first place? More importantly, are they drunk?
Kita0610: oh yes they r very drunk.
Kita0610: they r playing twister because....uhm...
lionsheep79: Oh, goody.
Kita0610: they r locked in the house..y r they locked in the house?
lionsheep79: I'm thinking it was Spike's idea...
lionsheep79: Cordy took the keys? Or turned on the security system and they can't leave the room without setting it off?
Kita0610: they r locked in the house and spike orignally wanted to shag. angel is like no. so spike says, ok, mr. chicken. twister.
lionsheep79: Oh, great.
Kita0610: ah spike wouldnt care about setting an alarm off....
lionsheep79: True.
Kita0610: uhm...
Kita0610: could they be quarantined...?
lionsheep79: And Spike goads the great poof into playing Twister as only Spike could...
lionsheep79: Quarantined? Hmm... not sure...
Kita0610: angel would let himself get quarantined to save humanitt from some disease..and hed be eager to keep spike in with him...
Kita0610: i dunno either.
lionsheep79: Maybe they're just drunk and bored.
Kita0610: hell, maybe they r just drunl off their asses and ..LOL!!!
lionsheep79: Get them drunk enough and we can make them do anything.
Kita0610: and they have an argument about who was the baddest motherfucker.
lionsheep79: Oh, yeah.
Kita0610: but fighting always ends in a draw.
lionsheep79: So... Twister.
Kita0610: so naturally, spike suggests twister.
Kita0610: right!
lionsheep79: Where do they get a Twister game? Cause I don't think Angel would own one...
Kita0610: and they have one. cause angel is a poof and he would.
Kita0610: LOL!
Kita0610: cordy has it then.
Kita0610: give me back my brain!
lionsheep79: Yeah, Cordy would...
Kita0610: she brought it to the office for a party and it got left there.
lionsheep79: Hey, if we're gonna write this thing together, we're gonna *share* the brain, ok?
lionsheep79: Good. Party idea, very good.
Kita0610: i dunno. i can see angel with alot of odd things. like a seseme street lunchbox.
Kita0610: uhm..ok. i just want the bigger half.
lionsheep79: The lunchbox I could see. Maybe he just hoards bizarre stuff over the decades.
Kita0610: so they play twister traditional for like two secs..yea, thats what i mean.
Kita0610: like..a whole collection of bionic man dolls.
lionsheep79: Maybe Buffy tried to teach him to play once. And he was just too broody.
lionsheep79: Strip Twister!!!
Kita0610: yep.
Kita0610: cause spike gets bored.
Kita0610: and he teases angel into it.
Kita0610: saying hes got a big butt or something. i dunno, u do spike.
lionsheep79: And if Angel were a real man, he'd have the balls to play Strip Twister...
Kita0610: and angel HAS to do it...
Kita0610: he gets that whole "damn u i am the avenger" look going and spins the little thing.
Kita0610: they start out in dusters.
lionsheep79: "What, you do vain to expose your naked ass in a to-the-death game of Strip Twister? Ponce!"
Kita0610: cause the whole doffing of the duster will be pretty hot.
lionsheep79: Oh, yeah. The doffing of the duster.
Kita0610: "spike, youre sick. remind me again why the fuck i made you?"
lionsheep79: "I help the hopeless all over L.A., you insolent brat. I can take you in Strip Twister."
Kita0610: LMAO
lionsheep79: "Because I'm sick. And once upon a time, you liked it."
Kita0610: "thankfully,. some things change. not, however, my abiltiy to kick your peroxide ass all over this apt...even if i do have my arms behind my knees on a small red circle."
Kita0610: "hey! i saw that! you cheated! that was on the line! spin again!"
lionsheep79: "I think I've got you in something of a compromising position, Peaches."
lionsheep79: Yeah, they have to get into a huge argument about some vital point in the way the game is played.
Kita0610: "i am the defender of hapless humanity. i do not compromise." (although i occasionally fall over).
Kita0610: which angel wants to make about some deeper issue. and spike just wants to ram the spinner up his ass.
lionsheep79: Beautiful.
Kita0610: i think so. i think it fucking sings.
lionsheep79: "Maybe if you spent a little less time with your hapless humanity and a little more time shagging me on a Twister mat, you wouldn't be so fucking broody all the time, mate."
Kita0610: "peaches, there is nothing inherently deep about twister. spin, fall, lose. thats all you need to know."
lionsheep79: Should we be saving some of this? Cause we've got some priceless lines here :-)
Kita0610: "if i spent any time at all shagging you on a twister mat id spend the rest of my immortal existance regretting it."
ooh! yea we should!~!!!
Kita0610: u gonna save it?
lionsheep79: "Angelus, I've killed two Slayers, ran three Hellmouths and seen the Sex Pistols in concert eight times. You cannot defeat me."
lionsheep79: Yeah, I'll save it.
Kita0610: ok cool.
Kita0610:((snorts)) " ive been to hell! in hell twister is played naked and with FIRE!"
lionsheep79: "Drusilla spent a hundred years twisting my limbs into new and interesting positions, Angel. Don't underestimate me."
Kita0610: "none so interesting as the ones i put u in. only i didnt need a twister mat to get it done, boy."
lionsheep79: "Yeah, those were the good old days, weren't they? Too bad you haven't got the bollocks to do it now."
Kita0610: "ill show you bollocks you arrogant little prick! spin and face your inevitable doom!"
lionsheep79: "Bring it on, Peaches!"
Kita0610: then, the mutual doffing of the duters.
lionsheep79: Oh, yeah.
Kita0610: dusters even
Kita0610: ok. then theyre on the mat.
Kita0610: eye to eye.
Kita0610: squaring off...OMYGOD!
lionsheep79: "You scared?"
lionsheep79: "Of you? Never."
Kita0610: lets have them play paper rocks scissors to see who goes first!!!
lionsheep79: Perfect.
Kita0610: LOL
lionsheep79: Who wins?
Kita0610: angel will have a whole little head trip playing on what will is going to do...and spike will jsut be like.."here" and so of course, spike wins.
lionsheep79: Yeah, that's good.
lionsheep79: Angel's trying to plan Spike's every move and Spike's just like "scissors are good. We'll go with scissors."
Kita0610: "beginners luck"
Kita0610: right. exactly.
lionsheep79: "It's a bit early in the game for sour grapes, pet."
Kita0610: "shut up and spin, childe."
lionsheep79: "Oooh, demanding!!! Maybe SoulBoy's gonna give us a taste of good old Angelus after all."
lionsheep79: BRB
Kita0610: "youd like that, wouldnt you? youre just sick enough to enjoy being humilated by my souless counterpart. isnt losing to me going to be bad enough?"
Kita0610: k
Kita0610: they have to give eachoehr shit about buffy and dru. angel cocked his head as spike sturggled to put his left leg behind his right ear. "spike, i can see the problem now. youre not very limber. dru always liked LIMBER."
lionsheep79: "At least Evil Angel had enough dignity to take his defeat like a man!"
Kita0610: "u call hitting me over the head with a pipe defeating me!?"
Kita0610: " i think its called cowardice. but hey, lets not argue semantics, boy."
lionsheep79: "Yeah, well, we can't all shag the Chosen One, can we? Course, it's not like you got into *her* pants more than that one notable occurence..."
Kita0610: "yea, got into dru's a bit more than that tho." he says casually. "course, so did everyone else."
lionsheep79: "Yeah, I'm the coward, sure. You only had to wait until I was put in a bloody wheelchair before you could manage to fuck my life up effectively, I call what I did pretty damn brave."
Kita0610: "brave!? you?! wanna HIRE MARCUS to play twister against me too!?"
lionsheep79: "At least Dru had the good taste to go after some real demons. You should see this Captain America type your Slayer's shagging now."
Kita0610: " i met him. i dont like him. but i like you less."
lionsheep79: "I think me and my needle-nose pliers did more than their share of the work, ducks."
Kita0610: "i hate to burst your bubble. but i was soooo faking it."
lionsheep79: "If you don't like me so much, then what the hell were you doing giving me eternity to hang around watching you brood?"
lionsheep79: "Yeah, Dru said the same about shagging you."
Kita0610: ((touche, pru!))
Kita0610: "turning you was a total error in judgement which i regret more than ...likely anything. except for letting you in my house tonight!"
lionsheep79: "You'll be regretting it a lot more when you're naked and tied up in knots, Peaches."
Kita0610: "in case you forgot, YOURE the one who always gets tied up. and youre the one who likes it..."
Kita0610: "always did love that streak of masochism in you, Will."
lionsheep79: "Yeah, well, who better that you to bring that out of me? You always were so accomplished at the finer points of torture."
Kita0610:((takes a bow)) "thank you. my mother always said to choose something you were good at and stick with it... i see you chose annoying me and having bad hair."
lionsheep79: "I am a man of many talents, Angelus, and you'll find Twister is one of them. It's gonna take the pillock and the princess a week to untangle you when I'm done here."
Kita0610: "i think youre bluffing. i think youve never played twister. i think youre going to rue the day i turned you into a vampire!"
lionsheep79: "Not nearly as much as you will, pet. Right hand green!"
Kita0610: "Left hand blue..and well just see about that, blondie."
lionsheep79: "Oh, bloody hell..."
lionsheep79: "Good thing these bones will grow back together eventually..."
Kita0610: "not if i can help it" ((muttered))
lionsheep79: "Hey, I heard that. Don't you go threatenin' me, now. Not proper for a nice ensouled vamp like yourself."
Kita0610: "fuck that. youre a demon. i can kick your ass and still get into heaven. it says so in the handbook"
lionsheep79: "Bloody Catholics."
Kita0610: "right leg orange. and this insult from a ..what the hell were you anyway? half protestant half ...."
lionsheep79: "Half protestant half bollocks, pet. Never had much patience with religion, all that nonsense about not swearing or stealing or killing or drinking or fucking... who has time for it?"
Kita0610: "you never had time for anything important. thats why youre gonna lose. no discipline. left leg green"
lionsheep79: "Maybe discipline would have had some effect on me if I hadn't had such an utter ponce for a teacher. Left hand blue."
Kita0610: "why am i so certain that SATAN could have been your teacher and youd still be a lazy, neo gothic punk wanna be with a reckless attitude and maybe three brain cells left after all the alcohol youve consumed in over a century?"
lionsheep79: "Because you're so utterly bitter that you, Angelus, for all your liberal use of hair gel, leather pants, and brooding techniques, can never hope to be half the wicked cool, badass vamp that I have always been.
Kita0610: "childe-of-mine, me thinks you confuse wickedly cool with mouthy little twink."
lionsheep79: "Whatever, mate. Still seems to me that I'm still the Big Bad here, whereas you're just a wannabe superhero with a guilt complex."
Kita0610: "not that youd get the reference, seeing as your choice of reading materials center primarily around Peanuts, but methinks he doth protest too much. when u have to go around announcing how big n bad you are ALL THE TIME it sort of loses its punch. then theres the whole CHIP IN THE HEAD thing. so, pretty much, youre as bad as a poodle. and as for big...ah..well, lets just say i know better there too."
lionsheep79: "Hey! Watch it, mate!"
Kita0610:((EVIL GRIN))
lionsheep79: "And I get the sodding reference. You're the bastard that taught me how to read, remember? Don't see what use you got out of those dull books anyhow."
Kita0610:((shrugs)) "makes for more colorful insults"
lionsheep79: "Yeah, well, I don't need Shakespeare to insult you, mate. That hair of yours provides more than enough material."
Kita0610: "look whos talking. you look like a ken doll with a follicle disorder".
lionsheep79: "At least my hair stays in one place. You've got the sodding electric-socket look at work there."
Kita0610: 'it stays in place because its scared to death if it moves youll dye it some other color not in the natural prism"
lionsheep79: "Hey. My blue hair was awesome."
Kita0610: "you looked like a little old lady on LSD"
lionsheep79: "Yeah, well, you look like a squirrel crawled on top of your head and gave up the will to live."
Kita0610: " hey! ill have you know i have great hair! and at least it remembers its natural color! what the hell shade is that, anyway? clorox bleach yellow?"
lionsheep79: "You don't have the balls to dip your head into a bucket of bleach once a month, mate."
Kita0610: "again with the balls reference. it doesnt take balls, my dear, boy. it takes a lack of brains."
lionsheep79: "Brains... yeah... like the incredible brainpower it takes to hook up with the one bird in her generation who has a sacred duty to STAKE YOUR ASS??? What the hell were you thinking, Angelus?"
Kita0610: "with the wrong head, apparantly. i think we can agree, if nothing else, that between the two of us, our taste in women is..questionable at best. Which likely, is why were, o say, here playing twister with eachother..adnd GOD! my life is pathetic!"
lionsheep79: "Speak for yourself, poof. I, for one, am getting along perfectly well without Dru..."
Kita0610: "id fall over laughing if it wouldnt cost me the game. youre getting along so well that you cant even say her name without that little tremor in your voice..."
lionsheep79: "Hey! Shut up!"
Kita0610:"its true! you make dru into a two syllable word!"
lionsheep79: "At least I don't mope about on the streets all night, spying out blonde girls and dreaming of that little bitch of a Slayer!"
Kita0610: "that woiuld be because you cant walk around at night since you got neutered. i heard all the demons want to kick your little ass. can i just say how amusing i find that?"
lionsheep79: "Yeah, well, at least they consider me enough of a threat to dislike me. For someone who was the Scourge of Europe a century ago, no one seems to remember that you exist."
Kita0610: "am i supposed to cry about that? youre the one who misses angelus. not me. "
lionsheep79: "Yeah, well, Angelus wasn't always a joy to have around, either. I swear, you're an utter pillock in every incarnation, aren't you?"
Kita0610: "only to you. i think you bring out the finest in me. souled or no."
lionsheep79: "Glad to hear it, Peaches. You know it warms the cockles of my nonbeating heart that we can have special moments together like this. Left leg green!"
Kita0610: "you already have your left leg on green. and say it with a hallmark card, next time will you? these visits are getting tiresome."
lionsheep79: "In case you haven't noticed, I'm too drunk to remember where any of my body parts are. And if you bloody hate me so much, then why, pray tell, is your half-naked form so intimately twisted around mine right now?"
Kita0610: "because im NOT GOING TO LOSE THIS GAME!"
lionsheep79: "Temper, temper. We certainly are getting all worked up, aren't we, pet? Could it possibly be because you feel threatened to the very core of your ensouled being by my superior abilities in all things Twisterlike?"
Kita0610: "no, i think its probably cause you smell all kinds of aroused."
lionsheep79: "I'm not denying it. Why do you think I suggested this stupid game? Cause you're too sodding ensouled to shag me anymore."
Kita0610: "souls have nothign to do with shagging. i could shag you. i just cant be too happy about it. and u know, im not thinking THAT would be a problem."
lionsheep79: "Oh, don't even try to deny the numerous happies I gave you, mate. You know I was better than that little Slayer of yours any day."
Kita0610: "thats your main problem right there. simplicity and vulgarity. orgasms dont equal happy."
lionsheep79: "Don't they? 'Cause little Buffy seemed to unleash the Scourge of Europe very effectively when she spread her legs for you."
Kita0610: "that was about love. not about sex...forget it. you would never in a million years understand."
lionsheep79: "I wouldn't understand? I spent over a hundred years totally devoted, in every emotional, physical, and sexual sense of the word, to one woman, and I wouldn't sodding well *understand*?"
Kita0610: "no. you wouldnt. not ever. youve got no soul, and as far as i can tell, no brain either. so lets just drop this TAKE YOUR GODAMN FOOT OFF MY HEAD"
lionsheep79: "Oh, no. That's it. You're going down. You took my life, and my independence, and my self-respect, and my girlfriend, and I even got my house burned down by a Watcher because of you, and I will be DAMNED if I'm gonna let you beat me at Twister."
Kita0610: "Oh thats priceless. if i hadnt turned you youd have died in a paupers prison. you never had any self-respect. and its so not my fault your girlfreind is a freaking demon-ass chaser!"
lionsheep79: "She was perfectly faithful to me for a century before you had to show up and mess with her head. Not that you hadn't done an adequate job of driving her batty a century before."
Kita0610: "yea, well, it was one of angelus' finest moments. but as far as faithful...hate to be the one to tell you ol'boy..."
lionsheep79: "How the hell would you know? We were just fine until you had to come back and fuck everything up."
Kita0610: "how would i know!? EVERYONE knows!"
lionsheep79: "That's not bloody true!" ::pins his head to the Twister mat::
Kita0610:((grins thinking...))"o man...this is way more fun than sex. making him mad. i just might lose my soul!"
::Turns his head and bites spikes wrist::
lionsheep79: This is really starting to get interesting, hon, but it's absurdly late. I need to get to bed.
Kita0610: no shit
Kita0610: i was just lookign at the clock
Kita0610: im gonan be dead tomrrow.
lionsheep79: We'll have to pick this up sometime soon. It's gonna kick ass!
Kita0610: my son gets up at 7
lionsheep79: Yowza. Okay, get to bed, then. Night-night!
Kita0610: it will either be great or a total vanity piece for us
Kita0610: LOL
Kita0610: ok. im for bed.
lionsheep79: Either way... it'll be fun!