Random Thoughts from the Nuthouse:

1. So yea, I'm takin some (well deserved) grief for enjoying the Spuffy. Allow me to clarify therefore, once and for all, my current stand. (I'm assuming you actually give a damn or you wouldn't be reading my blog *G*).

It starts here, with some confessions.

For all my staunch Slasher-ness, those who know me best know I have a secret B/A addiction. Don't get me wrong. I don't like FluffyB/A. Hell, I don't even like fluffy SLASH. I gotta have my darkangst fix no matter who is doing the horizontal bop. Hence, the B/A secret shame. For the love of god, who was more angsty than *that* ship? No matter how much they loved one another, they could never be together for risk of sending the whole fucking WORLD to hell? Now that, my children, is some Angst with a capital Joss. 

So why am I suddenly liking the Spuffy? Well duh. Much the same reason. Did you catch the quotes from 'OMWF'?

"Whisper in a dead man's ear doesnt make it real." - Spike
"This isn't real, but I just wanna feel- "- Buffy

That shit hurts. I remain of the opinion(s) that:

A. He doesn't love her in anything other than a selfish sense, because he is incapable of it. He would however, do anything for her, including die. ((Key words: For Her. IE, as someone mentioned to me last night- Question: if a baby was about to be hit by a car, does Spike save it? Answer: Only if Buffy is around to see it. Otherwise, he lets it get run over so he can eat it.)) No, it ain't pure, true eternal yada yada love. But it means everything *to him*. He thinks he is in love. He believes it. He aches with it. And I am a Spike fan. Put those facts together, come up with this - the boy is hurtin, and I. just. love. it. 

B. Buffy sure has hell doesn't return even the twisted affections Spike has for her. Yea, she thinks he's hot. ( Who the fuck doesn't? ) She is attracted to his darkness. She likes the fact that she has all the power in this relationship. After all, Angel dumped her. Riley left her. Even Parker treated her like shit. Her freinds can't even be trusted to let her DIE in peace. So yea, any girl in their right mind is gonna want to be involved with a man who CANNOT hurt her in any way- because he's neutered, sure, but also because *she doesn't love him back.* If anyone is gonna do the dumpin here, it's gonna be Buffy. And it's gonna be big, and bad, and ugly and painful. And I. just. love. it.

So that's the Spuffy I like. The darkness, the pain, the angst. Gimme some more of that. Keep fluffybunny shit away from me and I'll be a happy happy girl. Although I still do hate the crackmonkey Jossmonster for dragging my ass even this far along.

2.Along the Angel front, I have been one of those who is consistently annoyed with the characterization of the AI crew lately. Yea, all of them, really, but in particular Angel, and Cordelia. (Don't get me started  on them as a ship, cause that's another whole ball of wrongness IMO.) No, I just wanna chat about doof!Angel, and martyr!Cordy and badass!Wes. Here's what I think. 

They're doin' it on purpose. 

Yea, Criss, whatever, maybe I'm just overly optimisitc. But I was looking back at S4 and early S5 Buffy, and remember how so many of us were going: "Who the FUCK is that and what did they do with our Slayer!?" Well, that was Buffy experiencing growing pains. And it sucked and it was uncomfortable to watch at the time. And you know what? Turns out it was supposed to be. No, the Initiative wasn't supposed to bore us to tears, and Joss counted way too strongly on us all being accepting of Riley, and we all know how that shit panned out. But Buffy wasn't *supposed* to be likable at the time. And she wasn't. And there was a reason. 

'Cause now look back on the whole arc of her development as a character, as a woman, and as a heroine. Look how far she's come. And think of how cheapened it would be if she had always been stalwart and true and damn cute and cuddly. We had to suffer right along with her freinds while she played bitch and looked for herself in men, and jumped head first into a "real world" which she could never have. And now that she's found that out, the hardest way of all, don't you just love her more for it? Well, fuck Joss, but I do.

So I'm hoping that this is Angel et al's period of adjutment. That we're *supposed* to be going "Who the FUCK is the Elvis impersonator and what did he do with the Ponce of Darkness?!" And that by season's end, all will be clear, Angel will have grown, and we all will have learned something. I do trust Joss that much. It ain't easy, mind you, it's kind of like a religious faith. But after that musical ep, allow me to reiterate I do indeed believe the man can do anything.

And if by chance, it was just all poor writing, the PTB stumbling over where to go with characters they have not fully planned out yet, well, I'll forgive. And I'll keep watching anyway. Because televsion has never touched me in this way. Because 90% of the time, the writing is so far above anything else out there, it's not even in the same ballpark. Because the characters ALL make me laugh weekly, and cry nearly as often. Because I'm a whore for it. And I'm proud of it. And I love it.

So that's where I stand. And I'm lookin' for company on the ride. It ain't over til Joss sings. :}

Talk to me

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