IN THE NOW-
A STORY IN THREE PARTS
(2/4/02- part III added on 2/5/02)

After tonight, though, if I don't find myself remotely satisfied, I may join the growing ranks of others who have tossed their hands up in disgust over the lack of consistent characterization and believable plot devices rampant this season. And I may be forced to rewatch S2 in a continual loop until I feel better. Or maybe I'll just eat alot of chocolate.

II. POST-ANGEL EP

Oh thank you Joss. Thank you. Thank you.

You have restored my faith in all things Holy and Whedon. 

I loved this ep. No, it didn't have the emotional WHOMP! of last season's sweeps eps, no dying and resurrected Sires, no crazed Spawn coming back to Turn said Sires, no shirtless Angel cutting demons in half then being chained half naked to the --but I digress. What this ep *did* have was quality writing, tight editing, and the spot on characterization that has been woefully missing this entire season. What this ep had was Joss.

Dave hit every line this time without that hideous clownish affect. "Stop calling me pastries," indeed. You just know Joss slapped him upside his gelled head a few times and said "tone down the playing of yourself, man." Thank you, Joss. Thank you. It worked. Gone was, the caricature, the Dork!Angel. That was *my* Angel up there tonight; flawed *and* heroic, clueless *and* a champion.  The old Angel, with  no idea what to say to a potential woman-friend, but lopping heads off bad guys without stopping to ask cash or charge, and all the while looking damn fine in a tux. Yes! I remember that fellow.

And Cordy. Vain and prissy, equally clueless, and with just enough heroism so you cheer for her without wanting to hurl. No Martyr!Girl tonight. Thank you Joss. 

I like the way they're playing C/A. God help me, but I do. Ballet as metaphor, I got this: Suposedly doomed to dance the same dance forever? That would be Angel, especially with regard to his relationships. All larger than life, epic, and tragic, and that's what he expects - hell that's what we expect *of* him, isn't it? Always a throw back reference to Buffy - Lorne "We know you have a thing for ex-cheerleaders", Angel "I did the posessed ex lover thing once, it never ends well." No, it doesn't. Epic, tragic, foolish, childish love *can't* end well. Buffy and Angel were beautiful to watch from a distance, but they were hell on their friends, on themselves, and in the end, nearly on the whole fucking world. 

The central theme of Angel the Series is growing up. Part of that is learning that there are many kinds of love, and not all of them have to hurt to be real. Remember James the vampire guy in 'HeartThrob'? Another piece of that theme, another 'echo'. It's not dishonoring a past love to be happy in the present. Love's not any less real if it doesn't kill you in the end. Problem of course is, Angel doesn't recognize this yet. 

And even if he does, he isn't ready to change his 'dance step'. How many times has he said to someone "you have to do this for yourself"? But he is, as yet, incapable of fixing his own mis-steps, of finding his own voice, particularly when it comes to those he loves. Angel is not Mr. Emote. And it has cost him. 

Does Cordy feel anything for him more than friendship? I dunno. He certainly doesn't know either cause he was too busy stuttering (and again, kudos to Joss and Dave tonight for making it believable, and not merely painful to watch as it has been every other godamn time) to ask her what the hell she felt. 

If Cordy and Angel plays out as a friendship that grows into something more, something based on mutual respect, trust, and genuine affection, well, I could get behind that. I could get behind that ALOT. Because it's rare in the real world, and it's completely non-existent in Jossverse. Because it would mean Angel is growing up, without the insane de-evolution into Liam that we've been force fed lately. Because it would be lovely to see happen on a prime time TV show with characters I actually give a damn about. And yea, because I married my best friend, and it worked out damn well. 

III. MORNING AFTER EP

Today, I am 34. You know what I want for a prezzie? I want someone to email me who:

1. Doesn't care that Dave has three facial expressions, instead, loves the *character* 'cause he's flawed and real and occasionally beautiful. In short,  I wanna hear from someone who is still an Angelho, like me.
2. Is beginning to appreciate the possibilty of C/A but does not sign their notes with C/A4EVA, and more importantly, is not prone to pondering if he impregnated her last night DURING FOREPLAY. ((sigh))
3. Still loves Joss, and is fuckin' tweaked that he wrote and directed last night's ep and managed to bring the characterizations back into alignment with near-perfection.

Am I asking too much? Am I the only one in the fandom universe who feels this way? 

Color me a freak