Ten Random things about me:

1. I have not seen my natural hair color since I was 18. My father was completely gray at 21, and had to dye his hair for his wedding, because my mom said she didn't want it to look like she was marrying an old man. I inherited the trait, and began getting white hair around my temples and forehead at about 18. I figured what the hell? If I was gonna dye it anyway, may as well make it worth something. So far, I have been Lucy!I'mHome Red, Asian-Goth black, chestnut, auburn, and (currently) a lovely dirty blonde color which is making me really grinny. Keeps the hubby happy too. "Tonight I'm fucking a blond woman!" Yes, dear.

2. I still have a stuffed dog that my father bought me when I was two and had to have emergency surgery. His name is Poochie and he has no eyes, nose, mouth, or ears. Half of his fur fell out, and the rest is held in with bandaids and non-matching thread. OK, so he scarcely resembles a dog anymore, but I love him anyway. These days he sleeps with my son Jake, who, being five, is the only person who seems to understand the attachment. 

3. When I was three, I shoplifted a 200$ scarf from Bloomingdales. I still have expensive taste, but now I'm neither small nor cute enough to be let go with a warning from the nice security guard.

4. I graduated High School when I was 16 (skipped a couple of grades) and college at 20. I have two Master's degrees. I still have no idea what the fuck I want to do with my life.

5. I used to be addicted to General Hospital, particularly Luke and Laura. My room was covered wall to ceiling in memorabilia and posters. I took three days off of school to watch their wedding and honeymoon (played sick, mom bought it), and when Laura 'died', I was so distraught I wore black for a week. This gives you a clue as to how well-adjusted I was in my early teen years.

6. I went to Yeshiva (Jewish perochial school) until college. All girl's High School. Now I write porno. Can you spell late rebellion?

7. I know how to construct a *killer* gravity bong using only materials found in most kitchens. Purely for scientific purposes, of course, and nothing at all to do with rebellion.

8. The view from my bedroom window in NYC where I grew up included the Manhattan skyline. And the Towers.

9. My husband and I were best freinds for almost two years before we became involved. Everyone we knew insisted we were secretly fooling around, but we weren't. By the time we started dating, family and freinds couldn't say "I TOLD YOU SO" loud enough or often enough. That was pretty much the theme of our wedding one year later. To this day my mother still doesn't believe we were ever just freinds. I tell her it was the longest, most drawn out foreplay EVER.

10. My son was just over ten lb. when he was born. Before I became pregnant, I weighed about 115. You do the math. No, I didn't have a C-section. Yes, I had drugs. Yes, it still hurt like a motherfucker. YES, my husband is now NEUTERED.